Cost Of Owning A Kegerator
When it comes to our beer, to that very mana of the Gods that allows us to waddle through the day to day dullness of life one simply cannot be frugal; why take a gamble and cheap-change the deities? Why play fast and lose with your own sanity?
Why, for all that you hold dear and true, risk the possibility of lukewarm beer? If this dilemma simply doesn’t keep you awake at night, shaking hands with less philosophical theorems – like the meaning of it all and all that religious rubbish – than there is something otherworldly wrong with you; there are wings at mental asylums dedicated to your type of DMSV catalogued depravity.
Reasons why you should own a Kegerator:
1. Save Money
Unless your tossing the proverbial golden flaked hot cakes against the diamond incrusted ceiling, than splurging on a fridge for your Buds (and I’m not talking about those you made in high school but the lifelong friends AA frowns upon), might seem like a frivolous investment.
Depending on how much you partake of sud filled libations, a kegerator will end up – in the long run – saving you dough, green, or scratch. A power efficient beauty will cut down the electric bill and will slough off a bit of that overtime your normal fridge has to shoulder in order just to keep your brewskis cool.
I bet Batman had a Kegerator in his cave… Don’t you want to be like Batman? Is your man-cave less than that of the Dark Knight?
A true kegerator keeps your malty concoction fresh and cool for months. It doesn’t matter if it’s a bottle Guinness or a Home-brewed recipe, a true Kegerator – particularly one with a tapping system – will gift you and your amigos hours of blissful hangovers.
4. Draft Beer on demand
Growlers, sure you can go that way but only if you are the sort of man or woman who has lost sight of his dangly bits. A kegerator is the equivalent of the Terminator next to an R2D2 growler.
Walgreens, Publix and all those fleece forts known as Supermarkets tack on a few bucks onto their beers. Let’s go into calculator mode:
A 15-gallon (about 160, 12 ounce bottles of beer… 13 and 1/3 six-pack) keg costs about $70. Now, as the savvy beer drinker knows that’s about $107 (9-7 for a six-pack)… en of the day you’ll be saving about 35 smackers on beer.
The cost of buying a Kegerator
There are dozens and dozens of factors to take into account once you’ve decided to jump into the abyss and embrace the madness and beauty that is a kegerator. But, given that no doubt your flight of fancy was made on the spur of the moment – perhaps accelerated by a pint or two of Porter’s best – let’s figure out what the real punch to the wallet for one of these machines.
1. Energy Bill
This is a BIG con in the Kegerator’s favor. In order to truly maximize the price of this marvel, while at the same time padding the day-to-day upkeep, you’ll need to be a TRUE beer fan; an enthusiast of the craft of most epic proportions. First biblical command:
“Thou shall not get a kegerator unless a six-pack is nothing more than your 3 o’clock snack. Thou most honor happy hour with the fervor of the deluge…”
A kegerator, for something as lowly as two lonely Coronas, will end up taxing your electric bill to the max. To truly equal the playing field, and make sense of your investment, you’ll need to have at least a few gallons of the good stuff stuffed in its stuffing interior.
Tack on at least 5 bucks on your energy bill for the privilege of owning a kegerator.
2. Unit Cost
There is an initial investment, just for the unit alone, that might fluctuate between 50 bucks to a whopping one thousand. This value depends on wether you are going full DYI (converting an old fridge with a taping system) or actually buying a fully functioning kegerator.
Once you make up your decision, whether to go brand name or dust off your power tools, then and only then can you set-up your budget. The more grass you toss – green and lined with dead forefathers – onto the financial fire the better your kegerator will be.
Like a newborn, a Kegerator needs its diapers changed, unlike a toddler – those feces festooned festivals – your new pride and joy only needs its rear cleaned on an anual basis… Mostly. Every-so-often it will have a case of the runs and you’ll go into meltdown mode.
In layman’s terms, you’ll at least need to invest on beer line cleaning supplies. We are talking about 25 smackers a year.
4. Tank Refill
The dreaded nightmare has finally come true. Your worst fantasy, the very reason you got a kegerator in the first place has cast a dark shadow over you buy… That boogieman – woe onto your house – has slipped into your contraption and now you face the fact that you’ve probably made a foolish investment.
“Oh Dear Lord!” You shout on your knees begging for a reprieve. “Why? What have I done to deserve flat beer?!”
Well, before you start sucking on the barrel of rifle and start writing up your suicide note, remember one crucial thing… You know that tank, the one that’s attached to your new cold cat son, the one that says CO2… well it’s going to need a refill.
The cost of a nice head of foam on your malty IPA is about 25 buck per CO2 refill.
So, all in all we are talking about an initial investment – with 7 Ben Franklins in the mix – of roughly:
Then an anual upkeep of:
25 for CO2 Refill + 25 For cleaning supplies + 5 per month for the power company:
“Is it worth it?” You wonder as you look at your credit card and your dwindling checking account. It all depends on wether or not you enjoy those constant beer runs, mixed in with the sup par taste of stale suds and Batman looking down at you with shame.
In the long run, all you need is one huge party and you’ll discover that you’re kegerator pays for itself; Ice and tub rental alone in that shindig will smack you over the head with a 35 buck baton bill.